I am caring for him now.
As his caregiver, I have watched Biff the Athlete shrink over the years in his photo album. As he gets older in the pictures, that dashing lettered athlete changes before my eyes in the span of 10 minutes.
His once 6' + frame has dwindled down to several inches under. His athletic broad shoulders are now slumped and his back has a sloped hump.
His bad knee requires a brace and a cane. Trips to the doctors for shots just so he can get out of bed and be able to walk.
His once trim build now has a pot belly. The waste bands of his pants have grown significantly.
His gets frustrated easily when he can't catch his breath walking down his hallway back to his apartment.
He belittles himself for not being able to hold onto that pickle jar and get the top off because of stiff fingers.
He wishes he was 29 years old again. He looks in the mirror and doesn't recognize himself.
He wants to golf, hit the baseball, run around the track and re-live those glory days of his youth. He fondly stares at the man in those pictures and wonders where in the world he has gone.
He may or may NOT have been YOUR friend in high school. Depending on what crowd you ran around with, you may or may not even have any empathy for how he now sees himself. But he is NOT comfortable in his own skin. He doesn't like old people and would rather now be a loner instead of the social butterfly he once was.
As he sees himself getting older, Biff really doesn't like it. It effects everything he does through out the day. It changes the way he speaks to you as his caregiver. He may snap at you because of his displeasure for not being the suave, dashing stud he once was. He may even pass off his frustration with a joke or two to make someone, ANYONE, laugh WITH HIM instead of AT HIM.
Biff needs a lot of room for his ego. He may even need you to let him have an "ego moment."
Just like in high school.
All of us are not "Biff's" nor do we understand that particular personality. That's why most high schools only had 1 or 2 Biff's in your grade.
You as a caregiver will win the lottery if you get a Biff. Just remember...the Biff's of high school weren't all bad guys. Some actually, were amazing people in their "glory days" and even in the golden years, they STILL ARE. Understanding the older Biff's is key to working alongside them in caregiving and helping them in this transition of life.